A Starving Artist's Charming Third Time

Over a week ago, I got an email forwarded to me from my manager:
"Hi,

We are having an invited table read for episode 304 on Thursday, April 28, at 10:30 AM.  Would Angela like to attend?  Please let us know, we'd love to have her there."

...

What?

...

And so Thursday, it's right around 10:15 in the morning, I'm pacing in front of Bryant Park and naturally, I'm freaking out. 

This has nothing to do with whether or not I think I'm going to blow it acting-wise--I have one line (punctuated by two exclamation points and a question mark...fun), so there's no pressure there.

This has everything to do with Me, normal everyday "Me".

What.  In.  The HELL am I doing going to sit around a table with all of these people?!  These people who have done stuff...lots and lots of stuff, who own entire brownstones in Brooklyn and estates in LA and have millions of IMDB-credits and DVD-sales and fans and followers.  Names.  Reputations.  Influence.  These are big people, they don't associate with little people.

...I am little.  Very.

...What is happening?

And so I'm pacing and buzzing and buzzing and pacing, and I call my boyfriend a time zone away to wake him up.

"Hello?"
Hi, Honey.
"...Mhmm."
I just wanted to call you before I head in.
"...Mm. Hm."
...
Honey, I'm calling because I actually need you to say something to me before I go in there.
"...Whaaaaat?"
Anything.
"Oh."
...
"You'll be fine, Love."
OK.
"Angie.  You have the role already."
Oh.  Yeah.
"You'll be great.  You're supposed to be there."
OK.
"I'm so proud of you."
Really?
"Yesss, Love."
Thank you. OK. OK! OhhhhhhmygodIloveyouI'llcallyouassoonasI'moutIloveyouuuuu!!!
"...Mkay."
Love you!
"Lllvv...".

(Side-bar:  Yes, I do shamelessly need some kind of pep talk every so often...and I do think the sleepy ones are a favorite of mine.  I couldn't tell you why.)

 Aaaaaaaand, I was off!

Into the building for time #3--my IDs are getting scanned, I'm getting my little pass:
"You've been here before, yeah?"
...Actually, I have.
"Great.  So then do you know where you're going?"
Third floor conference room?
"Ohhhhh, the reading!  Of course.  (Of course?)  Right over that way, my dear."

In front of the elevator, a sweet little lady:
"You're here for the reading, right?"
I am. (Big big dazed-ish grin.)
"IIIII thought so.  (You did?)  Go on up, make a quick left, then a right.  Have fun."
I will, thank you so so much.

The doors close, and I'm in this elevator by myself:
...Seriously, what is happening?

Aaaaaaaand, I was out.  Following these little arrows pointing me towards the conference room--and then I was there.  In front of this smallish room papered with brightly colored scripts and lined with a billion chairs...and punctuated by craft services.  (Coffee could be an amazing idea.)

"Hi!  Which are you?!"
Hi, I'm Angela, Female Patr--
"Ohhhh, Angela, hi!  I think you arrrrrrre...right over this way."

There's this big long table in the middle of the room, and I see little tented signs for them, all of them, designating their seats.  I'm pointed towards a chair on the perimeter of the room.

"Hi, Angela, I'm the head script supervisor."
Oh, Hi!  Nice to meet you.

"Angela!"
And I turn around, and it's the woman who sat behind the camera at each of my auditions--this is Ann, one of the two casting directors for the show...and one of the generally biggest casting directors for TV.  (...Oh my god, she genuinely remembers me.)

Hiiii!  How are you?!
"Good, I'm so glad to have you here."
Ohmygosh, are you kidding?  Thank you so so much, by the way.
"Oh.  Of course.  By the way, this is my business partner, Gayle."
And the second casting director of the show turns around.  Smiling.

"Angela, it is so nice to finally meet you!  I'm so sorry  I didn't get the chance to go to either one of your auditions."
Oh no no.  It's really lovely to meet you.
"I heard you were great.  Obviously."  (WHAT?!)
Oh, well thank you.  And honestly, thank you so much for this opportunity, I have been so excited.
"Oh.  Of course."
And in we launched into a short little discussion about AFTRA (the American Film Television and Radio Association-union) and the show...and I'm cheesing it like a son of a gun and instantaneously decide that I am going to have to find these women the best two Thank You-cards in the entire world.

More people start to trickle in, and we're chatting, and drinking coffee...and it is the most kind nice lovely genuine setting ever.  There is zilch pressure in the room.  It's shocking, and entirely comforting.  My nerves are gone, I'm just jazzed.

...

And then, they all started to come in.  Most dressed kinda shlubby, toting little dilapidated briefcases...and the vibe didn't change.  It was still just supremely lax somehow.  It was just more people chatting with one another, all genuinely excited to be there.  All giving hugs and "Hey man, how are ya?"s...and Jason Schwartzman literally jumping around the room showing off his new iPhone.  Fine.

It seemed so normal.

Other than the fact that it would have seemed entirely awkward to introduce ourselves to them at that particular point in time (they were all chatting with one another...I couldn't be that girl to duck my head into a conversation going Hey, I'm Angela, I'm shooting with you next Wednesday HAHAHA!).  So, I didn't, and marveled at its normalcy-ish.

I started talking to the Plushie next to me about it.
This is like a million times more lax than I anticipated.
"Sure.  Know what I think it is?"
What's that?
"It's like they can be nice--there's no pressure.  They're already at the top of the eschelon, so there's nothing to prove.  Why not be nice?"
Huh.  Yeah that makes sense.

There's a call to order by the writer/director.
"So, before we read this thing, I'm gonna do something.  These guys are all probably sick of it by now, but for those of you who don't know, this is how I begin every meeting for this show.  This is the call my friends and I used to make on the playground whenever bullies were threatening us." 

He strikes a pose like he just made a touchdown, and bellows this long Wookie-like call.

Everyone claps.

...My nerves had 100% evaporated.

They go around the table introducing themselves--Zach Galifiankas says "Hello, I'm Reese Witherspoon." 

...Why the hell had I been nervous?

And then we read the thing.  And it was hilarious.  Everyone was genuinely having a good time and laughing out loud--no one was putting on any airs, it was just a bunch of folks sitting around a room, reading a funny script, making sure that all of the given elements would work.

It suddenly struck me that yeah, we were actually all there for the same thing.  We were all all over the place as far as "success" was concerned, but for the time, none of that mattered.

And then, it was over. 

Rather, the read for my episode was over--there was a five minute break before they moved onto the next one, and the other two day-players and I decided to vamoose before we could feel as if we overstayed our welcome.  I said a huge Thank You once more to everyone I'd spoken with earlier...aaaaaaaand, I was gone.

Aaaaaaaaand, I was thrilled.

...

I'm well aware that one can rarely ever make bold leaps to get ahead--primarily, it's all baby steps.  And that's great.

And I'm well aware that opportunities both come and go.

But this.  I'm well aware that whatever this is, this is good.  And I'm excited.  And I can't wait to see what happens, whether or not it's anticlimactic. 

It's still good.
 
...And it is happening.