A Starving Artist Addresses the "Now Network"

Dear Sprint,

Nearly two months ago, I made the incredibly responsible decision of joining your network.  "Responsible" in that when reviewing the phone bills of my boyfriend and I over the past four and half years, we noticed that he had been paying 1/3 of what I was on a competing network.  We threw our hands in the air in an "Eff THAT!"-fashion and, after an ugly incident with a reckless cup of coffee and my former phone (...), I traded it all in for You.  For You.

I joined a Family Plan, Sprint.  A Family Plan!  That's, like, a big deal.

And here I've been on my new network (aka, You) with my Family Plan (aka, Whoa.) and my new glorious day of a phone for the past two months.  So.

...

Where the hell is my $100-rebate, Sprint?
Where?

...

You're a big ol corporation so I know that $100 means a whole lot of nothing to you.  But, let me tell you what it means to Me, Starving Artist-Me:

Lots, Sprint.  Lots.

This, Sprint, could have been the down-payment on my bridesmaid's dress for my best friend's wedding in October.

This could have purchased a plane ticket (A one-way.  Still.)  for that cat who I share said Family Plan with and I to actually see each other.

This could have purchased me another class, another workshop, two audition dresses (thoroughly unnecessary, but it would have been amazing), a cheap gym membership, an entire month's-worth of groceries,  a more generous student loan-payment beyond the minimum for once.  A touch-up of my tattoo--because for the most part, I forget it's even there, it's faded so much.  A hell of a lot of business cards.  One-hundred packs of Orbitz...doesn't matter.  Point is:  this has become obnoxious.

I did precisely what you told me; the day after I joined on up, I sent in my paperwork.
"You'll receive your rebate in 30-45 days."
Pffft, oh Sprint, you and your silly foolish overestimations.  You.

...

It took you 30 days just to tell me you needed the paperwork again.
And so, I sent it in the next day.
And now, it's three weeks later--and I still have 30-45 days.

"Your paperwork was processed on April 8th."
But, I sent it in March 29th.
"Yes.  Your paperwork was processed on April 8th. You should receive your rebate by May 20th."

MAY 20TH?!?!?!
SPRINT!!!
Sprint.
I don't think you understand, Sprint.

You tell someone who doesn't have a ton of money that they should be expecting some kind of money to come in, that person instantaneously starts making plans, big grand ones and/or stupid little ones but either way, happy ones.  And beyond that, the person simply starts to rely on the fact that it's going to be there.  Soon.

Quit TOYING with me, Sprint!  Don't drag this out!!

I want to thank you for what I hope will be a future of smaller phone bills, and what I know will be a future of pretty picture taking, 24/7-access to cnn.com (etc.) and Angry Birds.  I will be good, I will be loyal, I will potentially consider singing your praises but dear sweet jesus, come ON!

One-hundred freaking bucks.

That's at least 30 loaves of zucchini bread that I could bake.  For you.  Is that what you want?
IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?!?!

...

Best,
Angela