30 Reasons Why 30 Will Be OK
Reason #10: Every time you have to go ahead and make some big important decision or assume some big important responsibility (ie: call Nelnet to discuss your student loans, research various health insurance plans, you know, blahhhhhhhhh, that kinda thing that you feel the increasing need to face and you never ever ever really want to), you don't have to just feel like an adult when these things happen anymore, you actually are one now. Like, for real this time.
Correspondingly...
Reason #11: As my friend Jim pointed out to me this evening: "All those people in your family that have been pretending you're a kid all this time, or have called you 'Hey Kid' for all these years, now you can tell them to 'Fuck off' cuz you're not. You're thirty. ...You old hag."
And then he slapped me on the ass. Fine. And good point, Sir.
Reason #12: Just in case you'd mulled the possibility over at any point throughout the past...um, 8 years or so, you no longer have absolutely any reason whatsoever to go into/anywhere near the Juniors-section of any department store ever. (And that shit looks sluttier every week. Am I RIGHT, or am I right?!)
Reason #13: I mean, I'm already getting called in to audition for Moms all the time. The older I get, the more sense that's inherently gonna make. #stillnotprocreatingforEVVVVVVZ
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