Facilitating over an audition is seriously one of the best lessons an actor can have in... yeah, acting. And professionalism. And control. ...Lots of things. One of the best lessons in lots of things.
And it is one of the best people-watching experiments, to boot. For. Serious.
I am a chronic people-watcher, I actually fancy myself a bit of a professional at it. There was a good long chunk of time that I was keeping a people-watching journal, and I carried it with me everywhere that I went--taking notes on any and every fascinating character that crossed my path.
There were, you know, lots.
I do, in fact, live in a city where it's a given that I will never ever ever ever ever be the craziest person on the block--or on the square foot. Ever. (Quick and dirty lesson in this: riding the subway. I dare you to set aside an entire day to just hop from train to train and see what you come across...Meh. But this is enough fodder for an entire other volume of posts altogether...I digress.)
Actors are pretty much never quite as altogether transparent as when they're at an audition. You hang around these kinda scenarios long enough, and you can like smell who's genuinely confident, who's totally unprepared, who thinks that they're above the material, above the process...
And if you're the one working the audition (ie: Me. Tonight.)...ho-ly crap:
Prepare to get your ass kissed.
Why is it that we as actors assume that whomever's ushering us into the audition has ANYTHING to do with whether or not we get cast? Let alone that we have all of the answers to all of your questions...
"I didn't memorize this. Should I have memorized this?"
I mean, I don't think so...
"What can you tell me about the Kid Sister?"
Ooh. Nothing. Only that it's a role in the play. ...I'm sorry.
"Should I wear my hair up or down?"
Ummm. However you like it better...?
"No, but really though."
...Yep.
"How bad is it that I have an accent?"
Ohhh...
"Oh, me too."
"And me."
Ummm...
"And me."
Wow. Um, you know--(a million and seven terrified gaping stares bore through my face with these pleading looks like "Please don't tell me I'm going to fail because of my speech.")--I don't think it should be too much of an issue, no.
So. Many. Sighs of relief.
It is a great wonderful thing to feel that you're actually providing confidence to these actor-guys. Relaxing them, putting them at ease...some of them really truly need this. Right now, some of them seem to really truly need you. ...Damn, you're nice!!!
"Oh! Hey."
Hey!
"So, I got called-back."
Ohhh, congratulations!!
"Yeah, I hate that role, though."
Oh. (blink. blink. blink.) You know, Sweetheart, I don't know what to tell you. (blink. blink.) Try and find something you like about it.
"What if I can't?"
Well, I mean, I'm sure you can...
"...I really wanted this role, though..."
(blink. blink. blinkblinkblink.) Honey, I don't know.
"Oh. OK."
...
...
How about this: See what you can find to like and connect to with this character, and maybe the director will decide to read you for the role that you like, too. Who knows!
"Yeah. OK. OK. ...I like your boots."
Oh! Thanks. (I like em, too.)
Poor poor girl.
I have to wonder if I do that on occasion--like come across as the needy actress.
Eeeee, I hope not.
And then, my paranoia sets in:
How did I conduct myself at my audition today? Did I get up to read the break-down post too many times? Was my calmness off-putting? Was my hair off-putting? ...Guhhhh, did I sound too Western New York? Midwestern?! I so sounded Midwestern...
Were my boots too cute?...
NO! STOP IT! Why?! Whyyyyyy do we actor-people (maybe it's primarily we chicks...no. It's all of us.) WHY do we do this to ourselves?! This second-guessing crap--So! Dumb!
So dumb.
I want to hug these guys. I want to tell them to be nice to themselves, starting right now right this second and continuing always.
But, that'd be awkward.
I'll shake them by the shoulders with my eyes(ish) instead, and ish-say: I am just a messenger, I swear to god, that's it. But, I am very familiar with the shoes that you're in...And I don't want you to embarrass yourself. ...So don't.
Welcome to the stage manager world of being sucked up to at auditions!!
ReplyDeleteThough I get treated shitty sometimes in those situations and while I agree with you that it's quickly tiring to have to answer actors' inane neurotic questions, the people running auditions can have quite a say. I'm sure it's different in NY, but I was always taught and I tell people all the time when I speak to classes to be super nice to the person running auditions because you never know who they are. I absolutely tell the producer or director when someone's mean to me outside of the audition room and I think more often than not my opinion is listened to in considering those people.
Hey, Jinni! And I do think that that's an excellent point--I'm also of the belief that it's best to be nice to everyone, between the people who are running the audition, the other people who are auditioning--EVERYone. The one person that you may choose to act like a dick towards could be the director's best friend, or partner...or could be Ang Lee's cousin, who knows. Point is: bad idea. People totally do talk, and I feel like you have to walk into every audition believing that what ultimately gets you cast is 50% what you bring to the role and 50% your demeanor and reputation.
ReplyDeleteIt was just entirely bizarre to be on the other end of things for a change. It was GREAT, but totally totally bizarre.
And, I don't think I know how to deal with getting sucked-up to. In life. Ever.