To be honest, I didn't want to do it in the first place.
I reluctantly filled-out the application online thinking OK. If I worked here, I could actually get health benefits. I could open like 3 or 4 days a week and be done by like 9 or 10 and have the whole rest of my day available to audition and do other job, I could transfer wherever I'd like...and get free coffee all the time. This really might not be terrible.
Still, when I got the phone call that they wanted an interview, I felt an overwhelming sense of Mehhhhhh come over me:
How much did I really truly want to work for corporate-America (even if it was only part-time)?
But I went to 17th and Broadway at Noon and figured What the hell. If anything, I'm overqualified. This'll be fine.
...
...So, group interviews are weird.
They sat three of us down together, "they" being Mr. Manager-guy and Ms. Interviewing-Employee--who hated my life from the get-go. I found her when I first walked-in and said Hi, I'm here for the group-interview, and she told me that I could go have a seat & asked if I wanted anything to drink on the house while I waited. Sure! Can I please have a skinny vanilla Misto?...
This apparently was the wrong thing to request. She stood there and glared at me for a moment, and then slowly turned to start making my drink, while I slunk off to the corner where the other two interviewees were waiting. Super.
So, we sat: Mr. Manager-guy & Ms. Interviewing-Employee in front of Candidate #1 (Mr. Blonde-I-Went-To-Journalism-School-and-Have-Never-Worked-In-A-Service-Environment-Before-But-I-Know-How-To-Smile-guy), Candidate #2 (Ms. I-Love-D-&-D-And-Have-Practiced-All-The-Right-Responses-To-Say-In-These-Kind-Of-Settings-chick), and Me (Ms. I-Don't-Think-I-Want-To-Be-Here-But-I've-Baristad-Before-and-Goddammit-I-Need-Another-Job-girl). They would pose a rhetorical question to us and then go down the line and see how we responded--assuring us that there was "no right answer". ...Well.
Question #1: "Why do you want to work for Starbucks?"
Candidate #1: Something something about him thinking it would be fun and he comes in here all the time any way as a customer so...yeah, it'd be neat. (Ms. Interviewing-Employee smiles at this.)
Candidate #2: Something something Starbucks has an incredibly friendly environment and they always seem to treat their employees well and with dignity and it's like walking into a dream with coffee-scented clouds...yadda yadda yadda. (Ms. Interviewing-Employee says "Awesome! Right on!")
Me: Well, I've been a barista before and it's a lot of fun...and I love coffee. And I really do like the atmosphere in here as well. (...Glare.)
Me: And the music. (...Glare. And silence.)
Question #2: "Can you tell us about how you deal with being overwhelmed in the work-place?"
Candidate #1: Something something about taking lots of deep breaths and patiently working through the pain...and smiling. (Ms. Interviewing-Employee smiles right back. While my inner-monologue screams Oh my god, just THROW yourself at him, why don't you!)
Candidate #2: Something something about when she worked at Halloween Adventures that customers were frequently mean and she would just remind herself that the customer is always right and that she was there to serve them...yadda yadda yadda. I love Starbucks, I love people, I can take the heat. I'm going to show you just how ideal I am, I am so ideal. (Ms. Interviewing-Employee says: "You are so right! Good job!" Gross.)
Me: Um, I actually just don't get overwhelmed. (A glare. A pause. "What?") Truthfully, I just kind of keep a cool-head and if things start to get remotely stressful, I just remind myself that whatever happens at work isn't like life-or-death. Ya know?
... Ms. Interviewing-Employee apparently didn't know, and proceeded to pose a bunch of hypotheticals for me: "Welll, what if this happened?" Well... "What if that happened?" Umm... "What if what if what if?" ...Yikes.
Later on, sweet boyfriend just kinda laughed at me over the phone. "Angela, for future reference, I feel like if they ask you a question about you being overwhelmed, you should probably tell them about your being overwhelmed."
...Well, I WAS BEING HONEST, DAMMIT!! Isn't that the best policy?
No. No, at Starbucks, it is not.
#1: I am never ever late. Ever. ("Ooh.")
#2: I was late once, and I was late by 30 seconds. And my managers told me to never do it again, and from that moment on, I was always 45 minutes early. With Starbucks-lattes for everyone. ("Yayyy!!!")
Me: When I worked in the Upper West Side last year, the trains were really off during the winter and I showed up late a few times to my opening-shifts. But, I certainly called to pre-warn them ahead of time. (..."Umm, so, you didn't have like any repercussions for this? Any?!") No. I mean, it was the trains. It was the TRAINS! And I would even leave my house 35 minutes earlier than I should have! (...Steely steely steely glare.)
They asked us a grand total of eight questions--EIGHT! holy crap--and I tried to turn on the charm, and it simply did not work. Their smiles grew wider towards the other two candidates, and didn't even flash in my direction at all. Not a once. They said Thank You, and that they'd be in touch within 24 hours.
...
I mean, I knew that they wouldn't be. I KNEW. And I walked out of that coffeehouse in disbelief. How had I, a triply-degreed chick with a wealth of barista-related knowledge and a hell of a lot of enthusiasm and spunk failed a Starbucks-interview?! How?! Can't anyone get a job there?! Isn't that where 18 year-olds and career-unfocused folks go, waiting on corporate yahoos and serving them burnt coffee and burnt espresso-concoctions?!?! (OK, not EVERYone is career-unfocused there...or as young as 18...and everyone has to start somewhere...but STILL!!!) GOD!!! I mean, look at me! I have focus!! Lots!! And I'm...slightly older than 18!!! Isn't that...
...
...OK, yeah, this is fine.
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