Two pieces of glorious news:
1) Lip: it's fine. After a week of utter paranoia and swollen whatnot and not being able to consume next to anything that wasn't cold-ish and didn't require either a straw or the gentlest of forks (...It's cool, I'm shaking my head at myself in "Aw for fuck's sake"-fashion, too...) it's fine. And of COURSE it is!
(Minus the two stitches that are still hanging out there sorta and the little slice that's gonna hang out there...maybe always. But whatever. That'll add character. Cute-like. Fine.) Sweet sweet sweet relief.
2) I BOOKED MY FIRST EVER BIG GIRL VOICE-OVER GIG!!!!!!! JUST!!!!!!!!! YESTERDAY!!!!!! OK. So I found out yesterday, booked it Tuesday...I guess...
I am so so so excited I can't even begin to tellllll you! For A, it's a gig (obviously) and I've been itching for one. Hard.
For B, it's VOICE-OVER!!!! These things take forever to get into, and I've been going out for them for...ok, awhile. Been giving a good showing (...so I guess "showing" isn't the appropriate word...still...), striking up a nice rapport with at least 5 of the casting folks I've seen over the past two years, and now, finally. FINALLY!!!!
OK, so here's how it went down:
Sweet darling boyfriend came to visit last week for our 5-year anniversary (!!!!!!!) and immediately before his plane touched down, I received an email from my manager about an audition for a voice-over spot the following day.
You can absolutely come with me! It'll take, like, 10, 15 minutes at most.
"Are there things to do in the neighborhood we're going to?"
Yeah. Tons.
"Perfect."
Honey, no. Nooooo, seriously, just come with me.
"IIIIIIII really don't feel like being that guy who's looming outside of a room while his girlfriend's auditioning. That's weird."
No it's not!
"It is."
... ...
...Seriously, I'll only be 10, 15 minutes at most.
"Great. I'll be at that Sports Authority-whatever-place around the corner. What's the spot for, anywho?"
Chuck E. Cheese. ...
"... ...Perfect."
This was at 1:50pm.
...
At 2:45pm:
"Only 10, 15 minutes, huh?"
That has absolutely never happened before.
"Suuuuuure."
No, really! These things are...I mean, voice-over auditions are always so quick!
"Well. I guess that must mean they like you."
(EEEEEEEEEEK!!!!) Maybe.
There are three different spots, all with the same basic premise: a mom who is totally enamored with her kids is hanging out with her snarky (entirely single, entirely anti-kids) best friend and attempting to explain the joys of Chuck E. Cheese to her.
"Which one did you read for?"
Both.
"Awesome. Well. Which one did you read for more?"
...Both.
"Oh! Hmm..."
Yeah.
And that? Another kind of thing that had never happened to me before.
But, I do my best to not think too much about the audition, put it aside for awhile, and glide through the next four days of romanticalness and The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. (Not "romantical" by any means, but a pretty damn good flick just the same.)
...
I have the copy for 4 different spots (2 of which were absolutely brand spanking new) in my hands as I walk up to the callback audition Tuesday afternoon. It's a tricky thing to not harp on a script, to not attempt to over-think it, but if there's one thing that I've found out about voice-overs after all this time, it's that doing so is essentially a death sentence.
They're simple. Everything you need to know is right there on the page.
Actors generally spend a ton of time fretting over what's not being said on the page/in the script, what else needs to be discovered and uncovered and revealed and whatnot.
Not so with voice-overs. They are as absolutely uncomplicated as you can get. And I love that.
I'm sent in with the gal that I originally auditioned with: a sweetheart of a thing who I actually shot that infomercial with a few months back (...No shame...No judgement...). And we giggle our way into the room, all excited-like.
"So, wait. Were you told who you were reading for?"
(...No, actually...) No, actually. Were you?
"No. I wasn't."
Oh! Hmmm...
"Right. Weird. Well...we'll see."
Yeah, I mean...yeah.
But my curiosity has been peaked. Am I the sweet-natured mother, or am I the snarky clueless best friend?
(The Snark & The Mom...what a perfect title for a fable that would be...)
But really: who am I?
Both the casting director and the producer are behind the table same as before, two smiley middle-aged gents with gloriously voluminous hair.
"Ohhhhh, boy, you two again." Says the producer with a wink. "Alright, you ladies clearly know what you're doing, you obviously like each other...this is good."
(This IS good, you're so right!!!)
"Ummmm, ok, let's start with the second copy and then let's just jump right in and give it a go, shall we?"
(Waiiiiit...)
The casting director: "I'm sorry. Who do we want reading for who?"
(Right.)
The producer: "Oh!...You know, I don't really care." (Hmmmm...) "Angela, let's have you slate and start off as Tina the mom, and you'll be Diane the best friend."
So for the next...I don't even know how long, we go back and forth through three of the four copies an upwards of ten times apiece. (Which, if you've never auditioned for a voice-over, is quite a lot.) Every other read, we switch roles; both roles of which feel really good, but could not be more different.
"OK. Great. Thanks, Ladies! Ummmm...Angela."
....Yes?
"Could you stay? For like, one more?"
(REALLY?!) Really?!
"Yeah. You don't have anywhere to be or anything, do you?" (Which, for the record, is the kind of question where both possible answers feel equally as uncomfortable to say.)
I absolutely don't.
"Perfect."
For the next three hours (!!!!), I read with 5 different women.
...Yet another kind of thing that had never happened to me before.
I stepped out in the hallway to wait three different times as other pairs went in, checking my Facebook a billion times over to avoid the various leers in my general direction. (Aw, what does my news feed say now?... ...How bout now?). And every time I stepped back into the room:
"YOU again!"
I know, I know. Sorry.
"Who we having her read for this time?" (...?...)
"Oh, I don't care."
(...Hmmm...) And the less the producer seemed to care, the more perplexed I seemed to get.
I have not questioned my "type" in like seven years. I haven't had to. I am who I quirkily am and that's obvious...when you're looking at me. But it suddenly occurred to me that because I had never booked a voice-over, I didn't know what my type was in that regard. Because, when you can only hear me...what do you hear?
(Holy fuck, what if I book this?)
(Holy fuck, if I do, is that one gig going to determine what my type is in this medium?)
"Jesus, you'd think we liked you or something."
Well, I hope so.
And I guess they did.
Because I did book it :)
But it's been over 24 hours since I got the email saying as much...and I still have no idea who I am: The Snark or The Mom?
And I wonder. ...
Regardless, my voice will be pumping on your stereo in some way or another relatively soon. And hopefully, it's the beginning of a trend.
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